Connection

I experienced something worth sharing the other day.

A friend close to me said that they felt like we didn’t connect at times. They gave me a few examples which didn’t make much sense to me, simply because I didn’t feel the same way about it.

I found it quite odd, because I felt like we connected well and was wondering where they got this idea from. I put it down to people having different perception and didn’t worry too much about it (or so I thought).

A few days later, regarding the said friend, I noticed that I felt disconnected from them myself. That automatically made me want to talk to them less and I felt some sort of anger rising inside and was looking at everything that the person did wrong in my opinion. This, obviously, helped me to disconnect even more.

Finally, I thought, I realised what they were talking about, but what wasn’t clear to me, why did I suddenly feel it too? And why didn’t I feel it before?

So, I investigated it a little deeper and it dawned onto me that I was actually closing my heart; I could almost physically feel it contracting.

Whatever they said, somewhere deep in my unconscious I made it mean something about myself and my way of dealing with it was closing my heart and shutting them out. After all, if they felt like we didn’t connect, shouldn’t I be feeling the same?

I’ve never thought about it like this before, but if you live with an open heart, love flows, and connection is just a by-product. Things are easy and natural; you love people and accept them for who they are.

But, if for whatever reason you feel disconnected from someone, look inside yourself. Are you keeping your heart closed? What are your beliefs behind it? Are you able to even receive love? If you can’t connect to another person, most likely, the issue is with you, not with them.

Remember, the more love you give out, the more of it comes back to you. Someone said that there’s nothing more artistic than loving people and I couldn’t agree more.

The moment I realised what was happening I let go and the connection was back. So couldn’t we really connect or was it my own perception (followed by very convincing thoughts and feelings) that led me there in the first place?

That’s why there’s a saying that the truth will set you free. And what I mean by the truth is really knowing yourself and being able to see what’s going on outside your thoughts and feelings.

Thoughts and feelings are very good at making you believe something, but they are mainly based on your past experiences and have very little to do with what’s actually going on.

Is it always easy? Heck, no. I, too, often get caught up in stories in my head, so much so that I start believing what I tell myself. It takes daily work and self-awareness to rise above it and connect to the truth.

And what it does, it makes me feel free and a whole lot happier than I’d be otherwise. No wonder that my passion is helping people find themselves, and I’ll never ever stop doing that, because that’s what life is really about.

Clients sometimes ask me how to deal with those whose conscious awareness is not at the same level. Well, first take responsibility for yourself, your perception and actions taken based on that perception. Learn what stories are playing in your head on repeat.

And when it comes to others, we can gently guide them if they’re open to it. If not, they’ll find their truth in their own time, but none of that is your responsibility.

Remember to love people. And then love them some more.